He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
and you fell through a lawn chair
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize