i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
