what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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