I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
