I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He passed out mid-signature
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
this is an emotional support booty call
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
