hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
