Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
