I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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