that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
