too bad you live with your parents still
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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