We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
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