You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
