Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
