bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
