so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
