I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
