I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
