the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
