The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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