He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
