Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
