I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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