Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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