Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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