lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
