No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
