How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
