i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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