She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
His nipple licking is glorious
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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