cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
