he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
