I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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