hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
