I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's shark week go big or go home
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
