What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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