One girl and one boy is just not enough.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
