i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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