Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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