What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i drank out of a bidet.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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