I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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