i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
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I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
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She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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