I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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