i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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