its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
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What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
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She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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