Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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