the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You can't special order awesome
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
