what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
