Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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