Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
