You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
