this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
