Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
