Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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