Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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