so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
