do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
