he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize
