Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
