I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
high people should be assigned attendants
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
