new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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