guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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