Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
