You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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