im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
