We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
