Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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