your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
