Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
