That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
