I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize