Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
