drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
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I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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