There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
